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Manners: Then and Now

How have social dos and don’ts changed over time? We looked at manners guides and talked to experts to find out.

Library of Congress

Emily Post was a famous expert in etiquette (the rules that guide polite behavior). Her 1922 book was more than 600 pages long!

The Past and The Present

Family Meals

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The Past
It doesn’t matter if your family is dining alone. Make sure the tablecloth “is as spotless” and the “table is as carefully set” as though 20 were coming for dinner. (That’s from Post’s 1922 guide.) 

Masterfile

The Present
Family dinners are more relaxed. But they’re also a rare chance to connect face-to-face. That’s why you should never scroll through your phone at the table. Turning it off is the polite thing to do.

Talking with Adults

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"Yes, sir."

The Past
Never interrupt an elder, says another 1920s manners guide. And be careful not to disagree. “A really clever young person knows that his opinions are . . . worth little beside” those of adults. 

Masterfile

"I think..."

The Present
Interrupting is still rude. But most adults would agree that young people deserve to be heard! Never be afraid to ask questions or share your thoughts. Just be sure to do it in a kind, respectful manner.

The Act of Eating

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The Past
Post says there’s a “right” way to eat many foods: Bread should always be broken into small pieces. And if you can’t eat a peach without getting the juice on your hands? You had best use a fork and knife! 

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The Present
You can probably bite right into that peach! Still, our experts like the idea of breaking up your bread. It’s one easy way to avoid a timeless don’t: filling your mouth with too much food.

Traveling on Planes

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The Past
In the 1940s and 1950s, air travel was still new. Because it was seen as special, people got dressed up for flights. Some airlines even had detailed dress codes!

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The Present
Comfort is key, so you’re probably OK in sweats or a hoodie. But remember: You’ll be sitting very close to other people. Good hygiene and keeping your feet off their seats are important!

Special thanks to our experts: Elaine Swann, founder of The Swann School of Protocol, and Juliet Mitchell, CEO of Life Etiquette Institute

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